The Weekly Word: Understanding your wife

By Paul Phillips, Gospel Lighthouse Church, Floyd

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way….”

—1 Peter 3:7a

Many years ago, my wife and I attended a weekend retreat for ministers. There was a smorgasbord of help and teaching for those in Christian leadership.

One wise counselor focused on marriage. We learned that in the beginning of a relationship opposites attract, but soon opposites will attack if they don’t have an understanding of each other.

I met privately with the counselor and was given some homework to do. I was instructed to study my wife so I could understand her better. The counselor also mentioned that I should pray for God to give me a better understanding of my wife.

I did as I was instructed and it was like a light switch had been flipped. I saw my wife in a new light. I began to see there were reasons why she reacted in certain ways.

As I studied her and listened with my ears, eyes, and heart (yes, it is important to listen with all three,) I learned more about her experiences in life and things became clearer to me.

Don’t take me wrong — I am still learning about my wife after 41 years of marriage. But I am so thankful someone suggested to try and understand your spouse and comprehend the “why.” Afterall, isn’t this what the Bible teaches in 1 Peter 3:7.

I learned my wife wanted my undivided attention. She wanted me to make eye contact with her when we were talking.

When I think about it, doesn’t everyone want to feel what they have to say is important? Her requests have made me a better listener.

We all make mistakes in marriage, but when we learn from our mistakes we become “better together” and God is able to cement our hearts together as one.

There is hope for every marriage when we invite the Creator of marriage to teach us how to be a better spouse.

We all need help and biblical teaching in our marriages. That is why going to church is so important. We can learn from God’s Word the art of marriage. We need teaching on this because being a good spouse doesn’t come naturally.

I believe we can all do better. Don’t you?

Take time to invest in your marriage today. You will be glad you did.

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Pastor Paul and Dixie Phillips serve the congregation of the Gospel Lighthouse Church in Floyd. Sunday worship is at 11 a.m. and 6 p.m., and Wednesday worship is at 7 p.m.