Transitioning from crib to bed

Dear Nanny Kristin,

We recently transitioned our almost three-year-old from a crib to a bed. It has been nothing short of a nightmare with him constantly getting up. We’ve tried bribing, coaxing, and shouting. Nothing works. We have never had an issue until this transition. Can you please give us some advice?

— Exhausted in Nashua

Kristin says:

Congratulations on the transition! While it may be nightmarish now, it’s a confident indication that you have survived the infant and toddler years – well done! You, too, will survive this fatiguing transition – I promise! Often times, parents believe that sleep training stops after infancy. The truth is that it does not. Sleep training is a practice that goes on well into early childhood and even into the school years for some children.

When youngsters are transitioned from a crib to a bed, they discover one thing – FREEDOM. The freedom and independence to escape on a moment’s notice at their liking. With consistency and clear directions, you will be on your way to putting him to bed and keeping him in there for the night.

Bedtime is not a game. So, set the rules beforehand. Follow your regular evening routine (bath, pajamas, storytime, lullaby – whatever your usual practice is…) and firmly tell him that it is bedtime and he is to stay put in his bed until morning. Tell him you will come in and check on him in five minutes and close the door leaving it open a fair crack or about halfway. When you go into check on him, do not say anything or make eye contact. Let him see you and walk back out. Continue to check on him every few minutes until you know he is fully settled and sleepy.

If he comes out, firmly state that it is bedtime and take him by the hand (do not carry him) back to his bed. Each time he gets out after that, repeat the same process except do not say anything or make eye contact. Believe me, this could go on for an hour or longer depending on how strong willed your child is. The first few nights will most likely be the stormiest. Many times, parents try too many different techniques and this confuses children and prolongs the process. Remember – you are the teacher and you are in charge.

In the morning, praise him for a job well done if he stayed in his bed. There is no need to reward with toys, trinkets, and candy. Children have to learn to do things simply because it’s a part of daily life. If we reward them for every small thing, they will constantly expect “prizes” for everything they do right. Nevertheless, star charts can be fun for young children to see their progress as they are very visual learners. Perhaps you can print off a monthly calendar and he can press a sticker onto the appropriate day in which he stayed in his bed.

Other things to consider:

n Make sure bedtime is an appropriate time. If it’s too early, he won’t be tired. If it’s too late, he will be overly drained and on an adrenaline rush.

n Don’t force him to sleep. Tell him he doesn’t have to fall asleep right away, but you expect him to stay put in his bed. He will fall asleep eventually.

n Young children are comforted by stuffed animals and lovies. Be sure to have a couple of them tucked in bed if he wants them.

n His pillow should be an appropriate and comfortable size for his head and neck. Double check that. Coziness is key.

n Do not provoke his fears. For instance, if he is scared of “monsters under the bed,” reassure him that there is no such thing as monsters. By telling him stories such as, “I got all of the monsters out of the room” or spraying fake “monster spray” around the room, you are only adding to his fear by making him think that they really do exist.

n If he is a super early riser, give him a visual cue of when it is okay to get out of bed. I like the “OK to Wake!” children’s clock by Patch Products. Another version is the “Gro-Clock” by The Gro Company. Simply put, children can’t tell time yet. These types of clocks light up in the morning so that children know when they are allowed out of their bed.

Keep at it, mom and dad!

Xoxo-

Kristin

Kristin Hall is a career nanny of over a decade and a curriculum book author. She specializes in ages zero to five and loves all things kid-related. Have a question? Send her an email at: kristinhall@charlescitypress.com Or, write to her at:

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