ASK THE NANNY: Resist going overboard for Christmas

Dear Nanny Kristin,

Is it really necessary to spend every paycheck on toys “from Santa” for Christmas? I would love your opinion on this. I feel like I’m the only parent trying to budget when I hear what everyone else is buying their kids. I feel guilty. My kids are preschool/school-age. Please advise.

— Going broke buying holiday gifts

Kristin says:

‘Tis the season to go in debt, right?

There is always so much excitement that goes on during the holiday season, particularly for children. It is very easy to get carried away with all of the overly commercialized goodies, not to mention the overstimulation. I have traveled the globe and will straightforwardly say this: American children have the most “stuff” out of children in any other country in the world. We are an electronic-savvy and knick-knacky country, for sure. Materialistic would be the proper word for it. It always beyond amazes me how well-behaved and happy children are in other countries with what little they have to play with. I have also found that they seem to use their imaginations a bit more.

Last spring, I had the opportunity to visit an orphanage and a nursery school in Cape Town, South Africa. I observed a group of preschoolers sit at a small table (with very little lighting) playing with recycled plastic bottle caps for over an hour. There were no iPads, iPhones, or iAnything – just a few dozen bottle caps. They happily socialized, sorted, played, shared and giggled. There was no crying, whining, or pessimistic behavior whatsoever.

Do your children create a Santa list? If so, go over it together. Many times, children (and adults alike!) are very consumed by everything they see – from television commercials to what the other children are sporting at school. Do not feel like the un-cool parent if you decide to not get your children something that appears like every other child in their social circle has. Also teach them that this is not only a season to receive, but also to give. You can help them learn this by partaking in a charity project. Or, donate some of their current toys and clothes that they no longer use or have outgrown for a reasonable cause. Explain that the items they no longer use will go to children whose families cannot afford to buy things such as the articles you currently have.

In my opinion, it is not necessary to go overboard with gifts. You may have heard the “something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read” technique. I like that. I also believe in gifting experiences – maybe they have wanted to take up taekwondo lessons or dance classes. Or perhaps they have been dying to go see Disney on Ice. Tickets to special events are great and provide family memories.

I also like to gift items that keep the children busy – arts and crafts sets, a science kit, sculpture sets, or Lego kits.

Finally, I am a huge believer in educational materials over the cutesy materials. Of course, don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with some cutesy. But the cutesy shouldn’t outweigh toys and materials that provide purposeful playtimes such as puzzles, books, instructive computer games, and other things that promote learning.

Don’t forget to stuff their stockings. The Dollar Store is great for this. There is nothing wrong with a stocking full of fun goodies as, for some reason, children love trinkets and baubles! It’s like their own unique treasure chest. I always say – as long as the trinkets can fit into a shoebox in their room, they can keep them minded they don’t leave them all over the house. In addition to a chocolate Santa, candy canes, and hot cocoa packets; here is a list of my favorite stocking stuffers for children:

— Bubbles

— Watercolor paints

— Slinkys

— Bathtub color tablets

— Flashlights

— Mini play dough or silly putty

— A plastic wrist watch

— Cartoon band-aids

— Toothbrushes with sparkle toothpaste

— Scented stickers and sticker books

— Hot wheels cars, trains, or other small vehicles

— Travel games or card games (such as Go Fish or Old Maid)

— Character cups and silverware

— Small figurines or snow globes

— Mittens

— Socks

— Coin purse

— Yo-yo’s

— Plastic bugs

n Glow sticks

n Jump ropes

n Mad Libs notebooks

n Plastic dress-up jewelry

n Hair clips and barrettes

n Lip balm

The bottom line is every family is different. Some children will receive piles of presents and others will receive a few things. This is entirely up to your discretion and what works for your family and household budget. If anything, be creative with your gifts. But do not beat yourself up if you cannot swing for the “Maserati” of all toys this year. Remember: Santa and his elves don’t hand out awards on December 26th for whichever parent furnishes the best or highest number of gifts. Happy Shopping!

Xoxo-

Kristin

Kristin Hall is a career nanny of over a decade and a curriculum book author. She specializes in ages zero to five and loves all things kid-related. Have a question? Send her an email at: kristinhall@charlescitypress.com Or, write to her at:

Ask the Nanny

801 Riverside Drive

Charles City, IA 50616