All the bread, I want it

All the bread, I want it

Everyone knows animals pack on the pounds leading up to the cold winter months. Most people are aware that athletes carbo-load before a big game or race.

I am neither a squirrel nor an athlete and yet, one step outside and I want all the bread. All of it. Bagels, doughnuts, muffins, scones, pasta, bread — I crave them with an intensity that propels me to walk back outside and to the nearest business selling them.

This craving doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s been several years since humans have had to worry about fending off severe cold. Sure, we complain that it’s chilly as we hibernate inside and watch the winds blow snow from the tree tops, but it’s not actual hibernation. We no longer have a need to pack our body with fat for insulation to guarantee our survival through the winter.

As an adult, not only do I not enjoy a 16-year-old’s metabolism, but I am also not on a sports team. I could choose to go for a walk, hike, cross country ski, but since we’re being honest, this cold weather has me feeling especially lethargic. The only ambition I have is the kind that sends me to the kitchen seeking some doughy, warm, flakey cousin to bread.

Why? Why does this carbohydrate craving plague me? I have no physical need to eat a half of a loaf of bread, or three muffins, or several doughnuts — even if they are small. This craving consumes my thoughts. I shiver and think “If only I had a plate of buttered noodles.”

It wouldn’t be so bad if eating something in the bread family cured the craving, but it doesn’t. It just makes me want more. Once the weather warms, I find myself wanting fruits and vegetables and the taste of freshness. Unfortunately the fresh craving is not as strong as the craving to pack on the pound cake.

So, from now until spring I find myself hanging on for dear life, trying desperately not to give into the need to feast endlessly on bread. For those of you who cross my path during this trying time, I apologize if I seem twitchy and on edge. If you are too fearful to get near me, I don’t blame you. Just throw a muffin at me and I should be safe to approach and even conversatiwonal!

Amie Johansen

Staff Writer